Arrested Development

The Civil Rights Act of 1964? Why do we have to reopen that debate because of something one guy didn’t say on a program no one watched?

And wasn’t the name of their website MoveOn? Whatever happened to that idea?

We are now in the fourth year of Democratic control in Congress, and they are still whining about GWB instead of doing the job we pay them for.

It has been thirty years since Ronald Reagan’s tax cuts were proposed, and I am still reading about how the current deficit and debt crises we face are his fault.

It has been forty-six years since the Civil Rights Act was passed and now we have to spend all summer listening to a bunch of liberal racists-in-remission scold the rest of us who never had their disease.

The economy still sucks, the market is taking a dump, unemployment is going up, Europe is imploding, we are stuck in two wars without identifiable victory strategies, and we are going to take the summer off to play dress-up with civil-rights-Barbie?

I have a theory for why the left is obsessed with the conflicts of their childhood – particularly race. I blame Dr. Spock.

Before he convinced our parents not to spank, parents corrected their children. You made a mistake, you got a love tap, and you – listen up, lefties – MOVED ON. You quit doing naughty things and went back outside to play with your friends.

After Spock, you got to sit by yourself and contemplate your guilt and shame during your time out, confused about what you did wrong, and building up rage against the happy kids that were back playing outside. There was no closure, so you obsessed about those naughty things, convincing yourself that everyone is bad and needs to be fixed.

So that’s my theory of where liberal whackjobs come from – they obsess about their own past sins and insist that we join them in the corner for a perpetual national timeout.

Further evidence to support the unified theory of psycho-political arrested development: what could possibly explain a standing ovation for the President of Mexico ripping on us in our own House? Fond memories of spring break in Cancun.

Ok, equal time: far-right wingnuts were probably beaten as kids – they act out their mother-loathing by invading defenseless countries, wire-tapping, throwing people in jail, and selling derivatives.

The majority of Americans are the happy kids that just want to play outside – Libertarians certainly are down with that. We are the party of playing outside.

We happy kids are adults now; when we mess up, we take our spanking, quit doing naughty things, and we – listen up again, lefties - MOVE ON. We are sick and tired of taking orders from you beaten kids and you fixated neurotic kids who can’t get the hang of it.

Go fix yourself. Get a grip. Get some help. Pull your head out. Go to church if you want forgiveness. Start a 12-step, and then add step #13: leave us alone.

It’s just a theory.


Moment Of Clarity" is a weekly commentary by Libertarian writer and speaker Tim Nerenz, Ph.D. Visit Tim’s website www.timnerenz.com to find your moment.